Our Family In Brief
Topics: adhd, Bible, humor, mental
JENNIE
Jennie has been feeling really depressed. I guess you could say that
she's been that way for quite some time. Other emotions: anger,
resentment, frustration. I've felt these same feelings and have often
shared them here.
Yesterday morning she came home from work in time to head back out to
an appointment. I later saw her when she came into the restaurant
where I work. By the time I arrived home (circa 4:15 PM), she hadn't
gone to bed yet.
She had a lot on her mind, and I let her talk. Then I got a little
scared when she said she was having suicidal thoughts. Whereas I use
self-injury to cope, she uses food, namely sugar.
I'd been urging her to call the Crisis Care hotline so that she could
speak with someone, and even get help for her depression, etc.
Finally, I called the number and handed the phone to her. She talked
with a woman on the phone for some time. This woman asked if she
wanted to go to their office last night; Jennie said she was feeling
like she'd be okay just to go in tomorrow (this morning). So she made
an appointment for 10 AM.
I remember, two years ago, when my mom first moved up here, that my
mom wound up in the hospital for a week. I really hope that isn't
necessary for Jennie, although I have to consider the possibility.
I feel sad and a little worried for my wife. She is the love of my
life, and I want her to feel better.
I've seen her pull back from God so much over these past couple of
years. I've encouraged her to draw near to him, thinking that, maybe
he's allowing all the things that are going on to happen so that she
will turn back to him. "What if God is allowing all this to happen to
humble you?" I inquired gently.
She has expressed that she feels it's useless to pray. It's as though
doing all the spiritual things like praying, studying the Bible,
meeting with others, are not working. I know I've felt that way at
times myself.
I told her that I was committed to being there for her no matter what.
When we got married, I sang Steven Curtis Chapman's song "I Will Be
Here" to her as part of my wedding vows. I told her that I Will Be
Here no matter what happens.
I need to be careful of using pat phrases like that, however. Because
they can and have been overused, in time they seem to lose their
meaning. It's a little bit like singing the same songs again and again
at church; after awhile we get so used to the words that we stop
meditating on their meaning.
KEISHA
Keisha has also had a tough week. Her school is conducting Terra Nova
testing, which is supposed to give an idea of how kids might perform
on future standardized tests. I guess it also may indicate where the
school can improve in their instruction, etc.
She loves to read, which fires Jennie and I up to no end. It's
becoming so common for her to pick up a picture book we get from the
library and read it out loud to us. Some of the multi-syllable words I
help her sound out. Then after she's read it to me, I sometimes review
it with her to verify she understood what the story was about.
I love going to the library to pick out books for her. Because I want
reading to be fun and the time we read together to be fun, I've opted
for Humor books. Our library places a humor sticker on those books
deemed as such, which makes them easy to spot.
Keisha also loves to draw. It's evident in that her default activity
is to grab some paper and some crayons, markers, etc. and start
drawing.
But math appears to be a bit more difficult. Perhaps it's because it
can be rather abstract to see numbers on a page and not be able to
instinctively see their meanings. I try to think back to when I was
learning addition and subtraction and how I was. Unfortunately, I
cannot remember.
She also gets easily frustrated when she's not picking the information
up. I'm challenged by this because I can be the same way. I also have
to be careful not to get impatient with her and be sure to encourage
her.
There were some particular problems she had for homework that were
bothering her. I finally had the idea to use pennies out of her bank
as visual aids. That seemed to help. What helped even more, according
to Keisha, was that I was there to help her.
I'm not a psychiatrist and I know I'm not qualified to diagnose my
daughter, but, as someone with ADHD, I can say that I see some signs
of it with her. As I would talk with her about her homework, she would
play with her pencil and eraser - distracted. I found that frustrating
because I felt that she wasn't paying attention to me.
ME
I'm learning to take advantage of my day planner. I look forward to
using colors, etc. to make appointments, etc. stand out. (I realize
that this might sound a bit strange to you all.) If I can make my
organization system fun, colorful, and interesting, then I think I'll
have a good chance of keeping up with it.
I would love to have a coach; someone to help keep me on track, etc.
I'm learning to use timers: for example, the kitchen timer has gone
off four times since I began this post to remind me that I need to
leave for work. My watch alarm has a "snooze button" effect in which
it sounds five minutes after I touch the particular button. I use that
to remind me that I need to take my medicine and when I need to get
ready to leave work, among other things. I'm using other alarm clocks,
too.
I hope that eventually stuff like this will become second nature to me
and help me be more effective.
There is so much more that I could probably talk about - I need to
talk about - but I need to go for now. (like we found out yesterday
that our Transitional Medicaid expires at the end of this month for
Jennie and I. This means we'll have no insurance. Ugh!)
