Sunday, 24 February 2008

2006_07_01_archive



I want my daughter to come home. I was looking at pictures tonight of

the children of other Dillon families who have already received their

referrals from Vietnam. They are all so incredibly beautiful. I know

that Olivia is alive. I know what country she's in. I know that I have

loved her since I was a child. I knew one day I would have a daughter

of my own and I loved her with my own little girl heart. It is

incredibly difficult to know that my child is somewhere in this world

and I can't touch her. I can't feel her breath on my skin as she

sleeps next to me. I can't kiss her sweet lips and gingerly touch my

fingertips to her cheeks. I can't be there for her when she cries. I

have no idea if anyone is holding her in the way she deserves to be

held. Who does she cling to when she's scared? I want my baby girl. I

don't want her tomorrow or by Christmas. I want her home right now.

Right this second. I want to cradle her in my arms and never let her

go. Alas, God's timeline and my own aren't in alignment. I should be

used to this by now, but I'm not. Not when it comes to my children.

Jake is still sick. Again, God's timeline and my own aren't aligning.

Not only do I want Olivia home right this second, I want my son to be

perfectly healthy right this second. He seemed a bit better this

morning, but then he had fever again after his nap. It's just killing

me that he's so sick and I can't seem to do anything about it. Two

trips to the doctor, 4 days worth of antibiotics and he's still

running a high fever and crying everytime he coughs. It's breaking my

heart. There is definitely - FINALLY - a bright light at the end of

this tunnel! Jake decided this afternoon he wanted to go to Wal-Mart

and get a Spiderman toy! This is good! He wants to get off the couch!

YAY! He picked out a Spiderman costume. It's adorable! He looks so

cute in it. He loves to dress up. He also wanted a Sprite from

McDonald's and decided he might try a Happy Meal. He ate 3 chicken

McNuggets!!! This is HUGE progress! He also ate half of his fries! I

never dreamed I'd be so excited about my son eating fast food! This is

the first he's really eaten in days though so I'm thrilled.

There is a point to all of this of course. God always answers prayers.

Sometimes just not when we want them answered. Sometimes he says,


No comments: