I want my daughter to come home. I was looking at pictures tonight of
the children of other Dillon families who have already received their
referrals from Vietnam. They are all so incredibly beautiful. I know
that Olivia is alive. I know what country she's in. I know that I have
loved her since I was a child. I knew one day I would have a daughter
of my own and I loved her with my own little girl heart. It is
incredibly difficult to know that my child is somewhere in this world
and I can't touch her. I can't feel her breath on my skin as she
sleeps next to me. I can't kiss her sweet lips and gingerly touch my
fingertips to her cheeks. I can't be there for her when she cries. I
have no idea if anyone is holding her in the way she deserves to be
held. Who does she cling to when she's scared? I want my baby girl. I
don't want her tomorrow or by Christmas. I want her home right now.
Right this second. I want to cradle her in my arms and never let her
go. Alas, God's timeline and my own aren't in alignment. I should be
used to this by now, but I'm not. Not when it comes to my children.
Jake is still sick. Again, God's timeline and my own aren't aligning.
Not only do I want Olivia home right this second, I want my son to be
perfectly healthy right this second. He seemed a bit better this
morning, but then he had fever again after his nap. It's just killing
me that he's so sick and I can't seem to do anything about it. Two
trips to the doctor, 4 days worth of antibiotics and he's still
running a high fever and crying everytime he coughs. It's breaking my
heart. There is definitely - FINALLY - a bright light at the end of
this tunnel! Jake decided this afternoon he wanted to go to Wal-Mart
and get a Spiderman toy! This is good! He wants to get off the couch!
YAY! He picked out a Spiderman costume. It's adorable! He looks so
cute in it. He loves to dress up. He also wanted a Sprite from
McDonald's and decided he might try a Happy Meal. He ate 3 chicken
McNuggets!!! This is HUGE progress! He also ate half of his fries! I
never dreamed I'd be so excited about my son eating fast food! This is
the first he's really eaten in days though so I'm thrilled.
There is a point to all of this of course. God always answers prayers.
Sometimes just not when we want them answered. Sometimes he says,
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