Johnny's drawings
posted by cozynblue @ 4:24 PM 1 comments links to this post
Mimi, Tanisha, Cosette, Mom Marsha, Angelique(aka cozynblue) Sister
Akimma
New camera needed for Christmas, Please. This pic was taken with one
of those one time use cameras. Loser.
posted by cozynblue @ 12:58 PM 0 comments links to this post
Mc Donalds Job Application
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him
because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be
a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
posted by cozynblue @ 12:34 PM 2 comments links to this post
Miscellaneous: 13 Ways to Be Happy
1) Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple
things.
2) Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everyting, and
everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life.
The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3) Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you
should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4) You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5) Don't let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.
6) Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7) Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real
ones.
8) Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, avoid people
ho make you unhappy.
9) Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10) Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over
sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11) Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12) Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be
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