10 Principles for the Digital Family
Yesterday, I filled in for cultural conservative and public
personality David Walsh of The National Institute on Media and the
Family on the SIGGRAPH panel on "Video Games: Content and
Responsibility," when Walsh ducked the opportunity for dialogue with
makers of digital content because of a "scheduling conflict."
So I should be well-qualified to make my own official list of
"cyber-safety" tips.
1) Play with Your Child
Dr. Spock revolutionized child care a half-century ago by stating that
the first rule to new parents should be "enjoy your baby." With longer
workdays for parents and ramped up expectations in school and society
for kids, it can be easy to forget to play with them as they get
older. Your personal preference may be to have your child cream you in
chess rather than in a first-person shooter, but if you aren't willing
to play digitally, you are likely to be widening the generation gap.
There are lots of good, less-publicized choices out there. Consider
something like the award-winning, fun-for-all-ages game Cloud from
students at USC and their faculty advisor Tracy Fullerton, which can
be downloaded free and played on a home computer. Should you already
own a game controller, the Japanese game Katamari Damacy only requires
you to invest a Jackson in a nonviolent but genuinely wacky
family-friendly game. If you are intimidated by videogames, explore
other opportunities for creative play. For starters, you could have
fun with music-making machines like Pate a Son from le ciel est bleu
or the Indian Shankar Drum Ganesh Machine, or a paint animation like
Jackson Pollock by Miton Manetas.
2) Go Low Budget
You don't need to spend thousands of dollars on expensive controllers,
games, and software for digital family fun. A megabucks game from a
Hollywood franchise might not bring you any closer to your child.
Instead, consider these four options.
A. Free open source software that lets your kids create games,
animations, movies, and audio remixes like the 3-D modeling program
Blender or the sound mixing program Audacity.
B. Free 30-day-trials of otherwise expensive corporate packages. Kids
can make elaborate animated cartoons for the web and cell phones with
Flash or make music with Sony Acid, although they may complain when
the month is up.
C. For far less than the cost of a typical sixty dollar game, your
kids can make their own games. Quest Creator, RPG Maker, and -- for
the lover of virtual gore or mayhem -- FPS Creator are all within most
family budgets.
D. Check out what comes with the machine. For example, a lot of Macs
come with the versatile program iMovie.
3) Bring Digital Politics to the Dinner Table
Talk to your kids about new laws that limit or may limit users'
digital rights. It's important that they understand the basics of
copyright law and why they can't post their clever claymation video on
YouTube or MySpace, if the soundtrack is a top ten hit owned by a
megamedia company.
Luckily Creative Commons makes it possible for kids to find photos,
sound samples, and film clips in the public domain. (Check out this
video made by my thirteen-year-old to see an example.)
You might also want to point out how the arcane and obfuscatory
language in user agreements can contain fine print that allows their
personal information to be shared with third parties. Game playing
devices can also store data from other software applications.
4) Be an Adbuster
The largely hidden issue about digital media is the insidious role
that advertising can play with in-game advertising, viral marketing
campaigns, and other stealth strategies to push consumerism on the
young. To get conversation going, you can show kids funny and/or dumb
examples of corporate websites, such as Subservient Chicken from
Burger King, Hurra Torpedo from Ford, and I am Asian from McDonald's.
5) Distrust Ratings
Ratings systems, even the most well-meaning ones, may not give you as
much useful information as a Google search. They may be better than
nothing, but often they are not much better. For example, even though
it is saddled with an "R" rating, the film Billy Elliot can be
wonderful family viewing for older kids who might be inspired by the
story of a working class British boy who endures ridicule because he
pursues his talent for ballet. At the same time, many wildly
inappropriate movies for children are labeled PG-13. Unfortunately,
parents' groups that do more credible non-industry ratings sometimes
are so focused on negative reviews that they overlook the positive
ones. For example, the popular fitness-oriented game Dance Dance
Revolution doesn't have a KidScore review.
6) Raise the Issue of Inappropriate Behavior Appropriately
Of course, we should talk to our kids about creepy adults, but we need
to remember that most pedophiles still exploit face-to-face
interactions far more commonly than chatrooms, online multiplayer game
spaces, or social networking websites. That's not to say that there
aren't potentially yucky encounters to be had on even innocuous sites
like Runescape, but too much talk about "stranger danger" may not
encourage your children to protect themselves against those who are
nearer and dearer and more likely to abuse their power as adults. It's
also important to include threatening and harassingng behavior that is
non-sexual in the dialogue. Kids may be more willing to talk if you
elicit their responses to your own experiences as a child with
inappropriate behavior from adults.
7) Consider a Computer in the Kitchen
Julia Lupton, of Design-Your-Life, discusses the value of having a
computer in the public space of the house, so that family members can
collaborate on digital projects easily. Of course, teens need to have
some opportunities for privacy to build trust. Reading e-mail and
spying on their web surfing may be as counterproductive as perusing
diary entries or listening in on telephone conversations. (I do read
the online grade reports from my kids' schools quite carefully, but
that seems to me a legitimate extension of my role as a knowledgeable
caretaker and one that improves communication rather than impedes it.)
8) Know the Limits of Educational Games
Even the best educational videogame or software program is inferior to
the best live teaching. Although a lot of interesting work on games
and literacy has been done by James Paul Gee, Henry Jenkins, Kurt
Squire, and Constance Steinkuehler, it's important to be aware that
kids may already be getting too much distance in their learning from
schools that are increasingly oriented around scripted teaching and
multiple choice tests. In other words, before you park your kid in
front of the latest wonder from the Scholastic corporation, plan a
trip to a museum, science center, historical site, concert hall, or
library.
9) Set Boundaries
As the parent, you are entitled to make the house rules. This means
you can specify the equipment to which your children have access or
the hours they spend in front of a computer screen.
10) Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
No matter how you became a parent, you chose to have children because
you love them. Older teens may be embarrassed by such signs of
affection, but showing your kids that you love them benefits them for
a lifetime. Digital media allow for opportunities to remind your kids
that you think about them every day. The occasional e-mail with a
Photoshopped image or funny link (like this clip art loop), goofy
instant message, out-of-the-blue care package from an online vendor,
or custom designed t-shirt or knick-knack can create moments of
celebration to supplement more traditional expressions of interest
like hugs and chats with the denizens of the backseat. It shouldn't
take the place of kicking around the soccer ball or making homemade
chocolate chip cookies, but contemporary life can create certain kinds
of distance that technology can bridge.
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